I want to preface this by reminding everyone this is MY diary and I can bitch in it if I want to. I don't have to be compassionate and tolerant in here. If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't want to read comments of "But bisa, you should be more tolerant".

I have been wrestling with this problem which, if I think logically about it, it's a really stupid problem to get all bent out of shape about, but it's driving me nuts. Actually, it throws me right into fits of full out rage.

Maybe it's because I see my diaryland buddies as basically honest people. I have my favorites that I read constantly, although I may not be the most faithful at leaving comments or notes. I believe Trinity is dealing with contractors and new floor tiles that weren't what she expected while battling her own demons of weight and age, to which I can totally relate. I believe Invisible Don is finally getting a handle on his divorce and I can see the strength growing in him even as he deals with wicked nictotine fits and an infuriating ex-wife, knowing that hell yeah, he'll be just fine. I believe Jill is meeting herself coming and going trying to deal with kids, a job, a Stallion, classes in a foreign language and a very busy message board, yet she still takes the time for self-reflection and fantasizing. I believe BadSnake is making progress in both her therapy and her admirable new fitness regime, while living life at Rancho Lesbiano. I believe Calico is off, living life and rediscovering who she is and who she wants to be, quietly taking in the changes she is going through and coming out like a graceful feline. I believe RawVoice has finally found her footing and has set forth a new life plan, and will make it happen. I believe Chrome is about as graceful as an elephant on ice skates, but sit him down and talk to him and you do see the intelligent, passionate writer behind the self-effacing, crude entries and typos. I believe Gawain has values and beliefs that he holds dear and close, and while I may not always agree with him, I respect someone who stands up for his opinions, even if they are served up with a wicked dose of sarcasm.

Wait, I'm getting off track but I believe all of them.

The point I'm trying to make is that I read my buddies. I share their joys and their lows. I laugh with them and I've cried with them. In short, I believe in who they say they are. Naive on my part? Perhaps, but none of the people I consider favorites have ever blatantly lied, as far as I know. Yeah yeah, I've been online long enough to know that there's always the 56 year old balding man claiming to be an 18 year old Co-ed .. but still, you expect that in chat rooms, not on a diary.

It seems that I have acquired a fan who is driving me nuts. No, she's not emailing me, she's not stalking me, per se. She just pisses me off with what she's doing.

What's she doing? In a word .. lying. Now, I'm not saying that I've never lied in my life. I have. Hasn't everyone told that little white lie to spare someone's feelings? I'm not talking about "Noooo that dress doesn't make your ass look fat" or "The check is in the mail" type lies. This chick (if she really IS a chick) has been creating multiple diaries with multiple personalities behind them and then telling heart-wrenching stories in them, suckering people in and then abandoning them, making people feel used.

How do I know? Easy. Every time she creates a "new" diary, she adds me to her buddy list. She has devoted at least one entire entry to how "great bisa" is in one of the diaries, and has referred to me in other entries as well.

I started off reading one of her diaries after she left me a note. I fell for the story hook, line and sinker, feeling sorry for and a bit concerned about who I thought was an 18 year old girl who was ambivalent about marriage. I gave some advice and she "took" it. But the more I read, the more things started to not add up.

Sooo .. me being a stubborn Scorpio, I start playing Bisa Drew and doing some sleuthing.

Good Lord! The things I found. I dropped her from my buddy list and she had the nerve to write asking why. I just left it hanging cuz we all know that I'm -- let's say it together -- Too Damn Nice. Figured I'd just let it end and drop.

Until today, when I saw two new people had added me to their buddy lists. I always check out people who add me, cuz I figure if they like the things I write about, chances are I'll enjoy their diaries too.

Guess what. She's baaaaack. Like a goddamn booger you can't shake off your finger.

Not only did she join the forum I've talked about (although she hasn't posted there yet) she has a new diary. And I'll be go to hell if she doesn't leave notes for each of her diary personas as another one. Fuck, she's like her own Ring.

So, I exploded. I wrote the following response as to why I dropped her and I went and posted it in every diary she has that I could. I noticed while posting in one diary that someone else has become suspicious of her, going so far as to call her on a lie, like I did. Hells Bells people, if you're gonna lie, at least write them down so you can keep track of them.

Anyway, here's the note I left:

Obviously I edited the diary names above, but I didn't in the notes that I left. I don't want to provide easy links to this person, although if someone were curious enough and so inclined it would be easy for them to figure out.

The lie I busted her on that I talked about above -- she posted this entry stating how much she missed her mom, and she had talked about her mom watching the baby Alyssa two or three entries prior. I called her on it in her notes and she informed me that her mom had been killed the day before in a car wreck. Oh man, I felt like such a shit and guilty as hell.

Until her next few diary entries.

Now, I know people deal with grief differently, hell I've counseled people through the loss of loved ones, being trained in grief counseling. This chick was definitely not dealing with the recent loss of her mom. That's when the anger started for me.

What pisses me off more? The fact that I was duped and felt sorry for her and tried to help a young girl or the fact that I know there are others who will feel emotionally raped if they find out these things after getting sucked in or the fact that I'm letting the sick and twisted bullshit get to me like this? Who knows.

Ok, now that I've written this all down maybe I can let go of it. God I hope so. WHY am I letting this get to me?

Until next time~

bisa

Why? Because, bisa, you are TDN, that's why.


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