"GO-CARTS! Yeah! Let's go ride!"
So after several laps around the slick track for the two older boys and matching laps around the smaller track for Kimo, they were ready for burgers.
We went out to Mom and Dad's and grilled burgers out there. The boys didn't want to stay as long as they normally do, but I'm attributing that to the fact that Mom and Dad haven't turned on their A/C yet and it was 96 degrees. Bleh. If you weren't standing directly under the ceiling fan, you were guaranteed to be sweating in 2.2 seconds flat. Double Bleh.
While the boys "helped" Pops with the burgers Mom and I chitchatted while getting the lettuce, onion and tomatoes cut up. We were talking about a mutual friend of ours who is on the Atkins diet and is doing remarkably well. I commented that I honestly don't think that particular diet would work for me. I am a very picky eater and after researching the diet I realized that I'd have very little left to eat. Yeah yeah, I know that's the point of a diet, but this is to the extreme. I love chicken, which wouldn't be a problem, but I hate most green veggies. Of course the Atkins diet pushes green veggies. *nose crinkle*
We headed back home, stopping at Price Cutter for some sodas. I left the boys in the car and as I was walking in to the store my mind was still on weight and appearance and the discussion Mom and I had.
My mom is one of those very hmm what's the word? Prejuidiced? Close-minded? Opinionated? .. take your pick .. people who believe that anything bad that happens to an overweight person is a direct result of their weight.
Flat tire? Must be because of the person's weight causing the tire to wear wrong.
Trick knee? Gotta be because that person is carrying all that extra weight around.
Tree fall in the backyard? Well .. you get my drift don'tcha?
I can't count the number of times I've heard "Well if only s/he'd lose weight ..." *rolls eyes* This problem is compounded by the fact that after her stroke she gained some weight, but once she started riding a stationary bike the weight came off fairly easily for her. So in her small little mind, losing weight isn't that hard. She has never in her life had a real weight problem, so her mentality is that no one else should either. Yes, remember this is the same woman who told me "You've got such a pretty face. If you'd just lose weight you'd be beautiful." *gags*
Now granted, I'm not some skinny thing. I've got curves, I've had curves since I was 13 or 14. My body shape comes from primarily my father's side of the family, with my mom's side represented by broad shoulder, big boobs and big feet. Thanks Mom --- but I'm not obese either. The fact of the matter is that aside from being pregnant I've worn the same size clothes since I was 20. Well, there have been a few times when my weight dipped lower, but those weren't exactly ideal situations. I dropped a lot of weight when I was sick this past Nov/Dec. I couldn't eat anything that required chewing, no matter how soft it was, so it was soup and broth for 8 weeks. Of course when I got better and could eat again, I went right back up to my normal weight and stopped there. It's like my body says "This is the size you are meant to be." That even happened right after having each of the boys. I went quickly back down to pre-pregnancy weight without really having to try.
I'm proportioned, and in all honesty if I told people the numbers that come up on the scale those rare times I actually step on scales they wouldn't believe me. I fall firmly in the National Average of what size clothing real women wear.
I've had two kids by c-section so my tummy will never been anywhere near washboard abs status, not that they ever were to begin with. I'm hiding desperately from 40. Gravity is kicking in hard, so yeah, things aren't as tight and perky as they once were. Cellulite has gotten a firm grip on me and won't let go.
It may seem like I've gotten way off track here but I haven't. See, all these thoughts were running through my head as I went into the grocery store and saw a checker there who is a lot larger than I am. It made me start questioning the things my mom has said about me "needing" to lose weight.
As I walked behind the checker and to the aisle with the sodas I was doing that mental comparison that all women do. "My arms aren't as big as hers. My ass definitely isn't as large as hers. I don't have four rolls on my stomach." etc etc. God, women are such bitches sometimes, yanno?
*Side note - the above is a classic example of why people say women don't dress to please men, we dress to avoid being torn to shred by other women.
So anyway, while I was walking out of the store my brain is swirling with "Maybe I'm not so fat. Maybe I do have a warped body image of myself. Yeah the thighs could be tighter and the calves could be thinner, but still .. " About that time I noticed that this car was driving slowly past me as I was walking to the car. It was an older model convertible and the guy driving looked to be in his 30's. He was definitely scoping me out. I mean this poor guy damn near gave himself whiplash.
*blink* Back up bisa, what'd you say?
Yeah, he was scoping me out and bless his leering little heart he picked the perfect time to do so.
Immediately my mood lifted and yeah, a spring probably appeared in my step. I was grinning from ear to ear, thinking "Now see, bisa, all that worrying for nothing. You can still turn heads, even when you aren't trying." And lord knows I wasn't trying. Blue polo shirt, white short shorts, hair in a long ponytail tugged through blue FDNY ballcap. Just normal running around clothing, yanno?
So anyway, I'm damn near floating, my mind completely at ease and I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
I opened the car door just in time to hear the conversation between Chase and Gomez.
Chase: Hey, that's my neighbor and he's checking your mom out!
Gomez: What!?
Chase: Yeah, he's single and dating. DUDE! He was SO looking your mom over!
Gomez:
Kimo: Of course he can! Our mom is beautiful!
Chase (laughing): Dude, not only CAN he, he WAS!
Gomez: (flustered) But but but .. she's a MOM!
~hissss~ (Sound of bisa's ego deflating.)
Kimo was so my favorite kid of the day.
Next on my to do list - Explain to Gomez that being a mom and being hot aren't mutually exclusive -- soon!
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Speaking of Moms, I wish all my dlander Mom type friends a very Happy Mother's Day.
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The boys brought home from their Dad's a present for me, which completely floored me. Not that they brought me something, but that their Dad actually took them shopping TO buy me something. The last three Mother's Days that happened while we were still married came and went with nothing other than a casually handed over card. Kimo told me in confidence "Mom, Gomez MADE Dad take us to go buy you something. He told Dad that we HAD to go buy you a present and that we wanted to buy you a windchime. Gomez wouldn't back down and I told Dad that if he didn't take us then he wouldn't be my friend anymore."
~beams~ That's my boys!!
Until next time~
bisa
They aren't stretch marks, they are badges of honor.
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Words and Images � bisa-pet