Colored pencils now come with erasers. How cool is that. Back when I was coloring maps once you started coloring Europe blue you were committed. Nope, no going back and changing your mind and making it orange instead.
Crayons now come in a whole new rainbow of colors, none of which have names that actually describe the color. Of course, I'm not missing out on the crayons party. Hell no. I have my very own box of 120 crayons. I share every now and then, after I've collected collateral naturally.
Gomez found a ruler that folds up, which is uber-handy seeing as how 7th graders have to carry all their stuff with them in one big binder. Yeah, they have lockers but dang, they have those poor kids running from one end of the building to the other between classes. The locker situation hasn't changed much since I was in school. It's a battle to get to yours, especially if you are unlucky enough to have a bottom locker. You take your life into your hands trying to push your way in and protect your noggin at the same time.
The boys were both showing signs of nervous excitement. Gomez must have hit the toilet three times this morning, with a nervous tummy in full force. Kimo gets quiet when he's nervous.
We took Gomez first because it's just a matter of dropping him off. I kept up a cheerful chatter the whole way. We had to wait in line at Gomez's school, so to kill time and to keep those butterflies in my boys' tummies from doing a full blown storm I kept talking about all the cool stuff that goes along with the first day of school. I knew that Kimo only has one, possibly two, kids in his room this year that he was in class with last year. Kimo makes friends easily and was one of the more sought out kids on the playground. But even so, I could still see the nervousness in his eyes. So I volunteered that with all those "new" kids in his room that just means even more new friends to make. Gomez, bless his heart, pipped up about how much fun it is getting to make new friends. (This from a kid who everyone likes but who is very selective as to whom he considers a friend -- go figure)
I didn't sleep worth shit last night. The boys didn't want to settle down and go to sleep, which isn't surprising. I, on the other hand, was craving sleep because I wasn't feeling good. I kept waking up about every hour in a panic, worried that I had overslept. I'm determined that this year will be so much different than last. I want mornings to go much more smoothly and not have the flurry of "oh shit, we're late" moments in which everyone is snipping at each other and starting the whole day off on a bad note.
Wow, I totally went off down a different path here. Ok, regrouping here.
Gomez decided that instead of me dropping him off at the end of the building where his first class is, he'd rather me drop him off at the front doors so he could find his friends and grab a new map. That kind of surprised me seeing as how Gomez is a lot like me. He's more comfortable and relaxed within his own small circle of friends, preferring to avoid large gatherings of people he doesn't know. He hopped out of the car with his stuff, smiled at me over his shoulder as his only response to my "I love you, baby. Have a great day." Well heck, he's a 7th grader now, easily embarrassed by Mom's public displays of affection, although secretly loving them. *g*
After we dropped Gomez off I asked Kimo "Do you want me to walk you into your room?" and he said "You don't have to." I said "Oh I know, but do you want me to, cuz I'd kinda like to." Ok folks, between you and me I was dying to. It was this really strong and irrational need. I just didn't want to put any pressure on him. I mean, here I've been talking up first grade all summer, telling Kimo how he's not going to be one of the small-fries in the school anymore and how much he's grown up. Didn't want to torpedo that confidence we've been working on all summer, yanno?
He smiled at me from the backseat and said "Sure! I'd like that." My heart lifted tremendously. So, we parked and walked up to the school. They had a huge welcome back banner and two people dressed in costumes out front to welcome the kids back. One was a penny and one was a kangaroo. Um yeah. I'm not sure what the deal was with those choices of costumes because neither of them were familiar to the kids. Last year they had a cougar, the school mascot, bopping around and the kids instantly recognized him. But a penny and a kangaroo? The school officials must have had a bisa-moment and waited too late to reserve the cool outfits. Go figure.
I told Kimo to lead the way and I'd follow. We went last Thursday to find his room, meet his teacher and let him put away his supplies. At that time I pointed out several ways for him to find his room -- room number, how many doors down the hall it was, the big train his teacher had leading to her door. So I followed and he made a beeline for it, no hesitation and no false turns. He walked in and didn't even stop in the doorway. I had to call him back to me for hugs and kisses! He was so confident, just striding right into the room as if he owned it, and truth be told by the end of the day he probably will.
So, here it is half an hour into their first day of school; a day we've all three been yearning for and counting down to. The kids are going to be having a ball, cuz lets face it, the first day is a cake walk. They are away from each other and from me, doing their own things, and not having to deal with their "stupid brother". I've got a quiet house, not having to continually break up fights or deal with "I'm bored Mom" being repeated every hour on the hour. I've got a noon appointment to get my hair cut. I've got the whole day to myself.
I've also got a huge lump in my throat. Damn, I don't remember feeling this way last year when Kimo started kindergarten. It was all I could do not to break down into tears on the way back to the car after leaving Kimo.
Could be the lack of sleep.
Could be the descent from the excitement.
Could be because I still feel lousy.
...
I have the feeling tho that it's because I'm realizing my babies are growing up & needing me just a little bit less and there's not a fucking thing I can do to stop it.
Time for a good cry.
Until next time~
bisa
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