Yeah, there are reasons, in fact, one damn good reason, namely custody.
So since the urge to rant and bitch has cooled, I'll go more into the details of custody.
In our divorce decree it was set up that we have joint custody of the boys, and I retained physical custody of them. What that means is that he didn't give up any parental rights nor responsibilities. He's legally their parent to the same degree I am, I just happen to have physical custody of them, ie they live with me. (duh bisa)
When we were in the process of the divorce we both agreed that it was better for the boys to stay with me. The house that was (and still is) their home is in my Dad's name, even though technically it's mine. We didn't want to disrupt their lives any more than necessary. We didn't want to take Gomez out of his school, for the boys to have to leave their friends, etc. X was at that time living with his parents, unable to afford rent of his own. That was all the "logical" reasons for the boys to stay with me. The emotional ones, for me at least, were they are my kids. Yeah yeah, they are biologically his kids too, but they were both much closer to me. X had ZERO as a Dad-score with those two little boys. I carried them, I nearly died having Gomez and I was sicker than a dog when I was pregnant with Kimo. I endured not one but TWO C-sections in order to get them into this world. I was the one who rocked them, fed them, changed them, bathed them, sat with them when they were sick, played with them, encouraged them, taught them, laughed with them, cried with them .. get the picture here? Me. Mommy. In my mind and heart that means they are MINE. Period. :) No way was I going to give them up. Not in this lifetime.
Ok so umm let me get back on track.
So anyway, it was set in the decree that they remained with me. Now, in our state once a child reaches the age of 12, if there is an overwhelming desire by this child to switch custodial parents, a judge will listen to the child and take the child's wishes into consideration given that it's a realistic wish and that by granting the wish the child isn't put into a not so great setting. Meaning, if the kid just gets pissed at Mom for grounding him, he can't just jump ship. Also it means if the situation he'd be moving into isn't equal to or better in quality of life then it wouldn't happen either.
Up until September, I had no worries. Then the bomb hit. X got remarried and now can provide a stable family atmosphere. The town he's in is a good town, with little crime. It's a small town, kind of charming in the small southern town way as long as you turn a blind eye to the fact that everyone in that town is going to know your business no matter what you try to do to hide it. Sorry sorry, issues. lol
Gomez turns 12 in May, and while he has said that he has no interest in going to live with his father it still seems to be weighing on my mind.
It seems to gain weight with each day closer we get to Gomez becoming a teenager. The reason I say this is that Gomez has suddenly hit that time in life where a child thinks he knows everything and that his parents are completely brainless morons who are only alive by sheer luck. I don't know how many times lately I've had to tell him to stop telling me what to do. I lost it tonight with him. I had just had it. I was in a shitty mood because of agreeing to meet X and ruin my plans for the afternoon and then here's Gomez talking to me like I'm a brainless wonder.
I exploded. Ugh. I blasted him with both barrels and flat out told him "Quit telling me what to do! I'm 36 years old. I am the adult in this relationship. I am the fucking parent and I DO know what the hell I'm doing!"
Yeah.
I said that.
Very Loudly.
To Gomez.
In front of Kimo.
~hangs head and sighs~
I cooled down and apologized for the outburst and for speaking to him that way, but not for the sentiment behind it. I mean, no one should be yelled at that way, especially a kid. But he did realize how badly it was pissing me off. I asked him why he felt the need to always try to correct me, even when I'm not wrong. He's constantly arguing with me about the most trivial of things and basically acting like a little Mr. Know-It-All. He said he didn't know why he does it. We ended up making up and having a great evening after that.
Later, while the kids were doing their own thing I gave it some thought and it hit me that he's getting to that age where he thinks he knows it all and that his parents are idiots.
Heaven help us all.
In other matters, Jasper has developed this awful sounding cold. I'm convinced it is because he was borded at the vet's office while I was gone a week. He's got kennel cough and what sounds to be a horribly stopped up nose. Not a good thing for a pug-nosed dog to have. I am getting worried. Think I'll call the vet in the morning and see what I can give him to make him feel better. I'm guessing rubbing Vicks under his nose ain't gonna get it. LOL
*big sigh* I think I'm just gonna call it a night and crawl in bed with a book.
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