All various names given to the newest addition to our family. Now, in all fairness he's also called Sweetpea, Little Man, ummm I know there's some more. They probably escape me because they are used less frequently as they are terms of endearment rather than epithets of frustration.

Yanno, there's just no way to put what I have to say about Jasper into a coherent presentation. It's easier to just toss bits and pieces out.

Jasper has the ability to make three humans gag and dive for the car window buttons in the dead of winter, all the while looking at us like we are nuts.

His farts annoy him. It's like something's tickling his ass and he can't figure out what, but he's just got to look back there and snap.

Hiccups are hilarous when Jasper has them. He intermixes them with growls and whimpers.

He loves to stalk and has the ability to make a grown woman scream like, well hell, like a girl. One night I was sitting on the sofa with one leg dangling down. I saw Jasper come out of Gomez's room (where he had left a little welcome home pile, err present for him) and I noticed that he spotted my foot immediately. I sat real still and watched him. We had seen him stalk Gomez before so I knew what was going to happen. He lowered his head so that it was in alignment with his body and began walking towards me very slowly, his itty bitty eyes darting from my foot up to my face and back again. He got about a foot from me and pounced! OMG .. I screamed and laughed and jerked my foot up, almost falling off the couch in the process. It was just like when you are watching a horror movie and you are yelling at the screen "Don't open the door! He's there!" and of course they do, and of course he is, and you scream anyway, sending your popcorn flying.

Jasper has a fondness for tunneling through the dirty clothes, which in itself wouldn't be a problem, except when he prances out wearing, i repeat, wearing my panties. The lil shit had wormed his way in through the leg hole of one of my thongs and he came prancing out, as pretty as you please, dragging it with him. Amazing considering this is a dog that rolls like a friggen catfish when a collar and leash are put on him. He may be a cross-dresser, but he definitely isn't a submissive, that's for damn sure. LOL

Like most dogs, Jasper has deemed the broom, mop and vacuum cleaner as worthy battle opponents. He derives great joy going through the lunge and parry movements that he has perfected.

His favorite snack seems to be Peopletoes, preferring those over the more mundane Cheetos, Fritos and Doritos.

In order to let everyone know his water dish is empty, he tap dances in it. He doesn't whine or bark. Nosiree, not my pooch. He's talented. He puts his front paws in the empty dish and makes like Gene Kelley. Tappity tap tap tap.

Jasper is also convinced that he has the ability to fly. He likes to sit in my lap while I'm on the computer, which is fine because the only time he wants up is when he's sleepy and for the most part he's still. But when the urge to get down strikes, which always does whenever the boys come in from school, he takes this huge leap. I scramble to grab and catch him, lowering him to the ground. The kicker in all this is that the darling daredevil has his front legs extended like Superman and I swear he's smiling. I just know if he could talk he'd be saying "Whhheeeeeeeee!", I just KNOW it!

Jasper has several missions in life, I've discovered. Heck, I'm sure there will be more, but as of right now his main purposes are to kill all the rabid leaves in the front yard, to protect me from killer potholders and to untie every shoe on the face of the earth, leaving behind his calling card of puppy slobber, which we affectionately have dubbed "Jasper Juice".

He also seems to be caught between his nature of his breed and his intelligence. He's a Boston Terrier Bulldog, so he has the terrier fiestiness and the bulldog stubborness. Umm about the Boston thing, I'm pretty sure he drops his r's at the end of words and put them back where they don't belong, but it's still too soon to tell cuz he's so young. :p

Anyway .. I had him out in the yard one day when it was nice and the gas meter reader guy stopped by. Jasper bolted around behind me, poked his head out between my ankles and barked up a storm. See? Terrier fiestiness in barking the warning, Bulldog stubborness in barking incessantly, and intelligence in hiding safely behind his mom to do so. He's tough, but he knows he's a little squirt. The meter reader guy took one look at him, grinned and said "Oh, you're a tough one, huh?" to which Jasper promptly responded by turning his head and burying his face against my ankle.

Jasper has provided Kimo with the insight of what it's like having an annoying little brother that won't go away. This in itself has been worth the price of all the pierced toes, ears, knuckles, ankles, and nipples (don't ask) he has so generously bestowed on us.

Yeah, we'll keep him. ~grin~

Until next time~

bisa

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Dwight D. Eisenhower


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Words and Images � bisa-pet