The disagreement we had yesterday had two bright spots. The first was when I looked him dead in the eye when the conversation turned ugly, said calmly but sternly "That's it. You get ugly, You get ignored. Conversation Over", stood up and walked away. I have taken the high road throughout the entire divorce process and it felt good to continue to do so.
The second was when I realized just how right I was in divorcing him. NOT that I ever had many doubts about it, but the reaffirmation felt good. I agonized for a long time over whether a divorce was the right thing to do considering the boys. I knew it was right for me but I went through the mental roller coaster of "yeah, but they need their Dad in their lives" "Umm Bisa, he's not a Dad, he's a fuggen drill sgt." "They will hate me for tearing apart their family" "Umm Bisa, the core of the family is the three of us, not including X, and has been that way for several years". Yanno, all that mental garbage that goes along with separation and divorce.
So yeah, once I ranted and raged and calmed down, I realized "Hey Bisa, this is just more validation that you are doing good as a mom!" :)
Funny how an ugly fight could have a positive note huh? I guess it's all in your perspective.
And yanno, I'm kind of proud of myself.
Yeah. I am.
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Important Note here: I put diaries on my buddylist because I enjoy reading them. I won't link to a diary just because someone links to me. If I take your diary off, it means for one reason or another I'm no longer reading you. Could be a time issue, could be lack of updates on your part, could be that our interests have grown apart, could mean that I find you boring, annoying, or completely unbelievable. If you leave me a note or comment I always check out your diary. Don't nag me to add you, please.
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Kimo ended up staying home from school today. He was coughing a lot last night, had a headache and was running a fever. This morning the headache was gone, replaced by a sore throat.
He's feeling better this evening and will get to go to school tomorrow. Yay!
Right now he's sulking because I won't let him go outside and play. See, the rule at Casa Bisa is "No school? No play." If they are too sick to go to school, then they are too sick to go outside and play. Also, no friends are allowed over.
That is ticking Kimo off big time right now because our next door neighbor's little girl, Ashley, is outside hollering for him. She is four and she adores him. He's her hero, which of course makes him blush and swagger around like "see me? that's right, I'm the BOY!"
Getting gnawed on by Jasper just doesn't give him that same feeling I guess. ~snicker~
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My left knee is still killing me. I totally overdid it when playing lumberjack. It's not a sharp pain most of the time, just this dull, roaring ache and a feeling of instability. If I sit for longer than 5 minutes, I get really nervous that when I stand, it's not going to support me. It has buckled on me a time or five. Straightening it fully is uncomfortable, keeping it bent is more comfy, but then it locks in the bent position, making standing and walking an interesting proposition. I have to take three or four steps before it will let go and straighten for me.
This is nothing new for me. The knee was banged up when I got thrust into a battle of car vs. two girls on a moped. Yeah, I was one of the girls. My friend was on front and I was behind her. The car pulled right into our path and my friend got thrown over the hood, while I hit the front quarter panel and bounced back, crumpling my knee in the process.
The medial and lateral meniscuses (menisucii?) were damaged. Those are the little pads of cushioning between the bony upper and lower parts of your knee. The lateral collateral ligament was also torn. That is one of the ligaments behind the knee which helps in straightening it. (very basic explanation, but hey, don't wanna totally bore ya'll. HEY! Be glad I'm not whipping out the visual aids here. Yeah, I thought you'd be appreciative.)
So anyway, it's been this way since I was a sophomore in high school. I'm used to flare ups of pain. Surgery would alleviate some of the problems, but the thing is, it's still liveable this way. The flare ups don't happen that often, and just as long as I don't overdo it I'm asymptomatic. Sorry, but before I submit to surgery I'm gonna make damn sure that I have no other options. ~shudder~
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Big fun happening over on Abaku.com. There are several different areas there, surely something to interest almost any one. There's Music, Books, Stories, Parenting issues, an Artist's Loft, a Photo area, a Pet's area, an Adult area which requires membership to access, a Rant section, a Dream Analysis area, geeze, I know I'm forgetting a bunch of forums. Just go take a look, why don't ya. Tell 'em bisa sentcha. *g*
Oh, and if you become a member, Jill lists you on her diary, along with a link back to your diary. :) It's free advertising!
Just go look, trust me. ~sweet smile~
Until next time~
bisa
Damn bisa, that was a pretty lame entry
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